More fun with Brad

As mentioned in my first post, I have a buddy named Brad who is, well, just like me. He’s sarcastic, likes to have a good time (sometimes at the expense of others), and can come off like a complete ass. He, like me, is also a pretty good dude, and will pretty much take the shirt off his back to help one of his buddies out. He’s bailed me out of many situations, and because he’s a very successful Fort Collins Realtor, has the money to take me golfing, out to lunch, pay for limos. You name it, he’s done it.

I’ve often told Brad about my baseball playing days in college, where I would¬†light shoes on fire in the dugout, hide bags of dog crap in the bullpen so the pitchers were covering their noses when they were sitting on the bullpen bench, and messing with our hitting coach in any way possible.

Brad and I were golfing with my buddy, Troy, the other day when Brad decided to take matters into his own hands, affixing a large piece of athletic tape to Troy’s golf shoe while I was having a candid conversation with Troy in our golf cart (as a distraction, of course).

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Here’s the Skinny

What’s up peeps. My name’s Freddy, and as my bio says, I’m a bit of a sarcastic dude. A bit is actually an understatement, so if you’re on this blog, and you don’t like what I’m saying, then, well, that’s your problem.

Some would call me rude, but I just like to get a rise out of people by chiding them a bit. Take my good buddy Brad, who I play golf with a couple times a week. We were about 10 holes into our round last Tuesday when I decided to pull the good ole exploding golf ball trick on him. You know, it looks kind of like the video below…

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Practical jokes

My brother is the king of practical jokes. On April Fool’s day, he does just about everything from putting a rubber band on the retractable hose that is in the sink. When someone turns on the faucet, they get squirted with the hose, and they are generally pretty pissed that they are getting doused with water. My brother John is always laughing in the background when this happens, and he makes sure that he never is the brunt of a practical joke, ever. This is often times hard for our mother to swallow, as we are genetically linked to her, and she would never do something like this. Our Dad always just laughs it off, especially when Mom gets pissed, but that just adds more fuel to John’s already stoked fire.

I could go on for days about all the things that John does that elicits anger, but just a few things that he does are as follows:

1. He almost always delicately balances either a plastic cup or a small bucket of water on the door going out to the garage so when someone opens it up, that cup or bucket falls directly on the person opening the door. This is a very big nuisance when someone is leaving for work for the day, and they must change their clothes and get ready all over again.

2. He’s used the fire extinguisher multiple times to spray people when they aren’t suspecting anything is going to happen. This doesn’t just happen on April Fools day, but when you are in a hurry, and you have to get somewhere. This has started multiple fights before, but most of the time, at least now, everyone expects it that they just laugh it off.

3. The absolute worst is when he drips a couple drops of Ex-lax into someone’s coffee in the morning, or takes chocolate ex-lax flavored laxatives out of the package and then re-wraps a hersheys package and puts the ex-lax in there. Ofcourse nobody is every expecting what will happen next, but they are normally given a huge bowel surprise a couple of hours later when their body finally reacts to the ‘medicine’. My father used to get this one the most, but since he’s getting older, John doesn’t like to mess with him in that regard anymore.




The good ole whoopee cushion
The good ole whoopee cushion

The whoopee cushion is also a popular one, but that’s a little bit tougher to get away with these days. This can only work if you are in close range, and while someone is sitting down, you slip it right under their butt before it hits the chair. I have tried repeatedly to get John with this, and although it happens quite a bit, like I said, it’s rough to get right so the cushion lets out a massive fart sound.

If you want a little more advice on how to best get your practical joke game to the highest level, leave a comment below, and I will give you the information you need in a step-by-step guide!

My buddy Brad, who you read about here, performs practical jokes on his wife Erica all the time. He says that it keeps their marriage fun and lighthearted!

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Testing the Waters on July 4th weekend

This weekend I got a special treat. One of my buddies invited me to spend the weekend with him and a few of his buddies at his condo in Steamboat Springs, Colorado. For one, I had never been to Steamboat, but two, there was only one person that I knew that was going to be on the trip. Thankfully Nathan is the roughly the same person that I am, very sarcastic and likes to have a good time, sometimes at the expense of others.

When I got to the condo on Friday at about 4pm, everyone was there, and to my pleasure, they all had brought a bunch of fireworks with them. Not your average sparklers either, the haul was decorated with mortars, bottle rockets, roman candles, and too many other fun concoctions that would be blown to smithereens by the end of the weekend.

By the time that everyone was nice a liquored up on Friday night, we were playing a ripe old game of A-hole at the kitchen table. Since I’ve been called an A-hole a few times in my life, this is just the game for me, and I think a great game to meet new friends and see who can take a little, or a lot of ribbing.

Nathan’s buddies, Carl and Hank, two dudes from Detroit, were game for a little fun, so we were throwing F-bombs back and forth at each other, but they recognized that it was all in good fun, so we could let loose while downing beer after beer.

When it came my turn to make new rules, I would go for the gusto, and make sure that everyone was getting their money’s worth when they broke a rule. For example, whenever someone called someone else by their first name, they had to take a drink. But whenever someone called someone else by their last name, they had to take a shot of milk. Yes, a shot of milk. Cue Ron Burgundy (Milk was a bad choice picture!).

Image result for ron burgundy milk was a bad choice (courtesy

Clearly, Milk does not go very well with a lot of alcohol, so my obvious goal was to get my new buddies throwing up a bit more so I could, for one, make fun of them, and number two, they would be around to drink longer into the night.

After playing my favorite drinking game for about three hours, two of Nathan’s friends had puked, and we were ready to go downtown where there were a ton of people and live music a the bars.

We chose to hit up Carl’s Tavern, which was close to the Yampa River, and has a great drink menu to go along with fantastic scenery of the female variety, which a few of us were strongly hoping for.

At the end of the night, after we closed down the bar at Carl’s, we went back to the Condo, where there was drunken firework shenanigans, something that fortunately ended well without any limbs or digits being blown off. Fireworks and Alcohol are probably not the two best choices to put together, but not every weekend is July 4th weekend. Happy Birthday America!

Next time, more fun with my buddy Brad, who was the topic of another post found here.

Until next time, see you soon at!

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